1. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.<br /><br />2. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.<br /><br />3. It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:<br /><br />a) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse<br /><img src="http://www.clanlod.net/ipb/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/cool.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="B)" border="0" alt="cool.gif" /> After wrecking your boss&#39; Ferrari<br /><br />4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.<br /><br />5. If you&#39;ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.<br /><br />6. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for a guy who&#39;s running late is 5 minutes. Maximum waiting time is 6 minutes<br /><br />7. Complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddy&#39;s fridge is forbidden. Gripe at will if the temperature is unsuitable.<br /><br />8. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. (In fact, even remembering your buddy&#39;s birthday is strictly optional.)<br /><br />9. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who&#39;s playing.<br /><br />10 You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she&#39;s officially your girlfriend.<br /><br />11. Friends don&#39;t let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.<br /><br />12. If a man&#39;s zipper is down, that&#39;s his problem --- you didn&#39;t see nothin&#39;.<br /><br />13. Women who claim the &quot;love to watch sports&quot; must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.<br /><br />14. You must offer heartfelt and public condolences over the death of a girlfriend&#39;s cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan.<br /><br />15. If you complement a guy on his six-pack, you&#39;d better be talking about his choice of beer.<br /><br />16. Phrases that may not be uttered to another man while lifting weights:<br /><br />a) Yeah, Baby, Push it&#33;<br /><img src="http://www.clanlod.net/ipb/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/cool.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="B)" border="0" alt="cool.gif" /> C&#39;mon, give me one more&#33; Harder&#33;<br />c) Another set and we can hit the showers&#33;<br /><br />17. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. <br /><br />18. Never allow a conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone, hang up if necessary.<br /><br />29. When a buddy is trying to hook up, you may sabotage him only in a manner that gives you no chance of hooking up either.